Feeling blah
Do you ever feel not happy but not sad? Just sort of…there. Like, you’ve gotten up, brushed your teeth and had breakfast (coffee) but then kind of just lie around? Welcome to the blahs. While this isn’t a scientifically recognized term, you may identify with the feelings it aims to describe. Getting through the blah isn’t easy. People think you are perfectly fine because for the most part you manage your personal needs and make it to class or work on time (most days) but sometimes you don’t even know what fine is. Is fine feeling happy most of the time? Is fine being content? Is fine getting through the day with the most urgent tasks being completed? Or is fine just getting through the day…period?
When people instinctively ask “how are you?” you may not know what to say. Good feels like a lie and fine just feels confusing.
What is fine? One way fine is defined is being “in good health and feeling well”. So why do we say fine even when we clearly recognize we are not fine. If we had a broken arm it’s unlikely we’d say fine when asked how we are feeling so why do we do it when we have low mood? Is our physical health more worthy of empathy than our mental health?
On an intuitive level we probably recognize that society does see it that way and that’s part of why we respond the way we do. However, some people may have just lowered the bar for so long that being fine does mean just getting through the day. Feeling happy has been void in their lives for so long that the norm for them is to just exist. They may have bad days when they feel they can’t get out of bed or can’t go on but most days they can just navigate through the tasks they need to get done and places they have to go. On those days they feel “fine” just because they survived.
This perpetual state of low mood and lack of motivation you feel may be symptoms of depression . The Center for Disease Control (CDC) describes depression as being more than just a sad mood. Depression is more like a perpetual “cloud” that hangs over every part of your life and impairs your daily functioning. Even on a sunny, clear sky day you may feel like there’s this thing that just casts its presence over everything.. or you may not. Depressive symptoms vary in people and what we often see portrayed in media can be very different from what your friend or coworker is experiencing. Depression isn’t always lying in bed for days unable to even address your most urgent needs. Although, the symptoms can and do exhibit this way at times. There isn’t one narrow expression of symptoms.
Sometimes people try to keep very busy so that they don’t even have time to think. Staying engaged throughout the day and not having a moment to themselves may be how they cope so they don’t have to face the intrusive thoughts. It’s adaptive for them to keep moving. Your friend who seems so ambitious and works two jobs may be depressed. Your coworker who works and goes to school while balancing caring for kids and a job while being one of the hardest workers there may also be depressed. Your classmate who joins every extracurricular activity they can manage with their already packed schedule while still listening to you vent about your parents may also be depressed. Your dad who always seems so happy but is constantly exhausted may also be depressed.
Depression is real. Depression affects people to their core and they often feel hopeless and exhausted which just feeds the negative feedback loop. They get trapped in this vicious cycle where they may have experienced trauma and may also be dealing with other comorbid conditions like anxiety and the worse they feel the more they may ruminate on those negative emotions.
Then there are the physical symptoms people can experience from prolonged psychological stress like fatigue, hair loss, headaches, migraines, body aches, scalp and teeth soreness, tensed jaw and more. Physical activity and nourishing food is necessary for good physical and mental health. But when you feel drained daily and are just barely managing to get through your day it can be very difficult to fit in exercise and maintain a healthy diet. You may end up just lying around passively passing the time engaged in mind numbing activities like browsing online or watching Netflix. The more you lie around and the less physical activity you engage in the more unwell you may feel. You may also feel guilty for not doing enough when you’ve already been working all day.
After awhile of repeating these patterns you may end up not feeling happy but not really sad either. You just passively work through your day feeling blah. You may not even realize it because you keep yourself so busy so you are distracted from the distress
So what now?
Try talking about your feelings with people you feel comfortable and close to like family and friends. If you feel comfortable when a loved one asks you how you are feeling try letting them know if you aren’t doing too great at the moment. Sometimes just expressing our feelings can ease the discomfort. You could also try writing about your experiences in song or blog form. Listening to music can also be very helpful. However, if it has been a couple of weeks that you have been feeling down you should try speaking with your doctor. Being that I am not a medical or mental health professional in any capacity I would suggest you reach out to those trained to help with these difficulties.
We need to take it one step at a time. If exercising more is something you want and can physically and mentally manage then start small. Real small. When you get out of bed just stretch your arms up and out. After you’ve successfully done that for a few days stretch some more. Try to identify when you have a few minutes of downtime that you can use for you and maybe do one squat or hold a ten second yoga pose. Do whatever you enjoy that will help you get started. Don’t wait for the motivation. Just start with one step and celebrate those times you are able to complete them.
Feeling blah is draining mentally and physically. Depression isn’t the only factor that could be making us feel this way either. Struggling with ADHD, anxiety, PTSD and OCD among other disorders can wear you down. Dealing with trauma and the ensuing mental health struggles is tiring. We might feel exhausted even after sleeping eight hours. We might feel on edge and sometimes things that may seem little or insignificant to other people really get to us. Being pulled over and getting a ticket or being reprimanded at school or work may be the final negative incident that you feel you can handle.
If nothing else, just get through today. You aren’t a burden. You aren’t a bother. Your feelings matter. Just get through today. When you feel blah try to focus on your physical health as best as you can. Do it one step at a time. Don’t chastise yourself for not having motivation. Remind yourself that it takes so much strength to do what you are doing and that you will keep fighting through this feeling. No matter how bad something seems at the moment or how bad we feel eventually that feeling will pass. So drink water, eat something and stretch. You can fight through the blah.
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